While Auriea is away, visiting family at the other side of the globe, I find myself more interested in improving personal skills than otherwise. I usually don’t care much for challenging myself or developing personal routines when I’m with her. I guess the relationship itself brings enough challenges and routines. Plus any free time spend on my own, doing personal things like learning to play a certain piece on the piano, feels like time away from her. Which is not how I prefer to spend my free time.
If I have the choice.
But if I don’t have the choice. If I am alone. Then suddenly those options become available. I do think it’s mostly because it takes my mind off of being alone -something which I deal with very badly, Auriea and I having done virtually everything together for the past 10 years.
And I find myself thinking of the challenges that players of videogames enjoy so much -and that I often fail to understand or appreciate. Maybe they are similar to learning a piece on the piano: trying to do something for no other reason that being able to. Dedicating yourself to the task of developing the skill. It passes the time and takes your mind off of your life for a while. And your death. And your loneliness. And it makes you feel like you’re improving yourself.
Maybe I just don’t understand videogames because I’m happily married. Maybe this is what is keeping games from breaking through as a medium. That most people are.